Obedience Over Expectation

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a bin man.

Not because I’d really thought about careers.

Their trucks were massive.

And every time they came down our street, the drivers would smile and wave.

To a little boy looking out the window, they looked like the most important people in the world.

And there was nothing wrong with that dream.

But as I got older, I started to realise life was about more than just the first thing that catches your eye.

More than just choosing what looks impressive.

More than building your life around what other people clap for.

Growing up, I was often told, “Do what you love.”

And to be honest, that was a gift.

It gave me freedom.

Not everyone grows up with that.

For some people, the expectations are much heavier.

Sometimes that comes through family.

Sometimes through culture.

Sometimes through community.

Sometimes even through church.

And sometimes it just comes through the version of you people have got used to.

You do something well, and people start to think, well, that’s just who you are.

That’s what you do.

That’s your lane.

And you can feel the pressure to stay there.

Not all of that comes from a bad place.

A lot of it comes from love.

People want you to be secure.

They want you to do well.

They want your life to make sense.

But underneath all of that, there is a deeper question.

Does expectation come before obedience?

Because the most faithful path isn’t always the one other people had in mind for you.

Sometimes obedience means stepping outside the version of you that made sense to everyone else.

Sometimes it means letting go of the thing people know you for, so you can follow what God is asking of you now.

And sometimes the issue isn’t even other people.

Sometimes we keep ourselves busy enough to avoid obedience.

We fill our lives with good things, productive things, impressive things, because busyness can look a lot like wisdom from the outside.

But not all movement is obedience.

You can hear clearly from God and still drift into distraction.

You can stay active and still avoid the very thing He’s asking you to do.

You can be useful and still be out of position.

I’ve learnt that people can’t lead you to where they’ve never been.

And they can’t always recognise the direction God is leading you in either.

This tension between expectation and obedience isn’t new.

You see it in the story of Moses.

Moses was born Hebrew, but raised in Pharaoh’s household.

So he grew up between two worlds.

By birth, he was Hebrew.

But by upbringing, he had access to power, education and privilege.

From the outside, his future looked sorted.

Influence.

Status.

Opportunity.

A life that most people dream of.

If he had just followed the expectations of the world around him, he could have stayed in the palace.

He could have lived and died as an Egyptian prince.

Safe.

Respected.

Comfortable.

But something in Moses would not let him forget who he really was.

Obedience disturbed what looked obvious.

Hebrews says:

By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.

Hebrews 11:24-25

From the outside, leaving the palace might have looked like a backward step.

But really, it was a step into purpose.

And that is often how obedience looks.

Not like a promotion.

Not like a tidy upward path.

Sometimes it looks like loss before it looks like clarity.

Sometimes it looks like letting go of what made sense to everybody else.

And Moses’ story shows something else:

Obedience isn’t just about leaving the wrong thing.

It’s also about not settling too early.

The Israelites had successfully left Egypt.

They were no longer slaves.

Things had improved.

But better wasn’t the same as what was promised.

Freedom from Egypt wasn’t the same as arriving where God was taking them.

And sometimes that’s the danger.

Not that we go backwards.

But we stop somewhere that feels better than before.

Comfort can be convincing, especially when you have known struggle.

But obedience keeps going until God’s purpose is done.

Jesus brings this into even sharper focus.

At one point, while Jesus was teaching, someone told Him that His mother and brothers were outside waiting for Him.

And Jesus said,

Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?

Then He pointed to those around Him and said,

Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

Matthew 12:48-50

Jesus wasn’t dismissing family.

He was showing priority.

Even the closest relationships in His life didn’t come before obedience to the Father.

And that is challenging, because family expectations can be powerful.

They usually come wrapped in love.

Concern.

Hope.

Good intentions.

But even good intentions don’t outrank the will of God.

There is something else about Jesus’ life that speaks to this too.

Something my late father-in-law once pointed out.

For years, Jesus worked as a carpenter.

He learned the trade from Joseph, his earthly father.

He would have made tables, doors, beams and homes.

And yet hardly anyone talks about Jesus’ carpentry.

Not because it didn’t matter.

But because His life wasn’t ultimately defined by the work He did in one season.

It was defined by the will of the Father.

And I think that matters.

Because people often expect us to stay in the role they first recognised us in.

Once you are known for something, people quietly assume that is just who you are.

And that can become its own kind of pressure.

I’ve felt that myself.

For years, I was known as “the drummer”.

That was the role people recognised.

That was the place I was useful.

But over time, I started to feel God nudging me towards something else.

Not away from worship.

But towards building.

Towards business.

But obedience doesn’t ask, “What do people expect from me?”

It asks, “What is God asking of me now?”

We talk a lot about stewardship.

Using your gifts well.

Building well.

Creating impact.

And those things matter.

But stewardship is not first.

Obedience is.

Because stewardship asks, “How do I make the most of what I’ve got?”

But obedience asks, “What is God asking me to do?”

Sometimes those two go together beautifully.

And sometimes they don’t.

Sometimes obedience leads somewhere less impressive.

Less secure.

Less celebrated.

Sometimes it means laying down something you are actually good at.

Sometimes it means stepping away from the very thing other people applaud.

And if we’re not careful, we can call almost anything stewardship.

We can stay busy and call it wisdom.

We can stay comfortable and call it discernment.

We can keep managing what we already know how to do and never actually surrender to what God is now asking of us.

But obedience asks a deeper question.

Not just, “What am I doing well?”

But, “Am I doing what God asked?”

And obedience isn’t just about saying yes once.

It’s about continuing to trust God when the road gets longer, slower or harder than you expected.

Because a lot of people don’t lose purpose at the moment of calling.

They lose it in the wilderness.

In the middle.

In that space between promise and fulfilment.

When obedience leads, stewardship finds its right place.

Expectations are powerful.

They come through culture, family, church, and the roles people place on us.

But sometimes the strongest expectations are the ones we place on ourselves.

And when expectation speaks louder than God, something important gets lost.

You can be admired and still miss the point.

You can be successful and still be out of step.

You can be moving and still not be obeying.

Because not all movement is obedience.

A life built on obedience carries something different.

Peace.

Clarity.

Purpose.

Even when the path looks strange from the outside.

So the real question isn’t, “What will make sense to everyone else?”

The real question is, “What is God asking me to do now?”

Because in the end, obedience matters more than expectation.

Reflection Questions

Discuss

For personal reflection, small groups or Christian Union discussions

Use these questions to pause, reflect and respond to what God may be highlighting in your life.

• Where are you feeling pressure to stay in a role, identity or lane that other people have come to expect from you?

• Is there a good or productive thing in your life that might be keeping you busy enough to avoid obedience?

• What is one place where comfort has started to feel like confirmation, even though God may still be asking you to keep moving?

• Where might stewardship be out of order in your life because obedience has not come first?

• What is one small, practical step you can take this week to answer the question, “What is God asking me to do now?”

Take a moment to write something down or share with someone. Obedience becomes clearer when it is acted on.